Surrendering to Neurodivergence

I have felt the pull to write in here more often but I usually second-guess myself and the topic which immediately diffuses the pull. So that is why it is now five years later(!) So much has happened both personally and globally since that last entry… I started my own private practice in July of 2020 and have been riding that wave ever since. It is both beautiful and terrifying to be in business for oneself, but less terrifying when I allow myself to surrender and have faith that this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing. Along the way, it has become clearer that I do indeed fall into the neurodivergent category. I have attracted clients who function in a similar way that I do and I have been able to empower them to embrace their unique way of being in a society that seems to highly value and favor neurotypical functioning. 

I was diagnosed with ADD (attention deficit disorder, inattentive type) at twenty years old and took medication on and off for many years after that. When it became clear about nine years ago that the side effects from the small dose I was taking were outweighing the benefits, I stopped. This was around the time I began having a spiritual awakening which challenged everything I was doing that was not for my highest good. Looking back, in stopping the medication I was given the opportunity to adopt alternative ways of addressing my neurodivergence which has allowed me to guide others who function in a similar way that I do. Engaging in various forms of creativity has been the most effective way to ground myself and ability to focus as well as tap into what I feel are abilities unique to the neurodivergent brain. I often refer to them as special powers not because I feel I am better than anyone, but rather because they help transmute the pain and old story that something is wrong with me and I just need to try harder to adapt and fit in. Anyhow, around that time, I started taking guitar lessons and found that singing while playing the guitar was a particular kind of medicine for me as I was engaging with and feeling the frequency of my own voice. A couple years after that, I started making wire-wrapped jewelry and connected with and felt guided by the properties of crystals (see my last post for more on that). Hammering and shaping wire to make beautiful adornments for people was (and still is) a healing process which usually invites the creation of something beautiful and meaningful. A meditation practice which allows me to connect with the heartbeat of Mother Gaia (Mother Earth) has also been extremely helpful, although it took me several years to let go what I thought it meant to be a devout meditator and embrace the uniqueness of my own process. A lot of religious conditioning had to be uprooted and transmuted as I was raised Catholic (and my parents are still devout Catholics). Messages of shame, guilt, unworthiness and codependency are embedded in the Catholic religion as well as in the aspects of our culture that embrace patriarchal notions. By uprooting and healing these messages, it is also healing for people who see themselves as different than the norm, or neurodivergent. When people begin to accept their unique way of being in the world and don’t see it as a shortcoming, they often realize how they can be powerful agents of positive change in our world as seeing things from an alternative perspective comes easily to them.

True to my neurodivergent nature, this post was not meant to be so much about the neurodivergent label as it was going to be about my spiritual journey which led me to a lot of these realizations. However, this actually creates a clearer framework around which to describe my awakening process. And while the neurodivergent label might seem like an indication of a shortcoming (not fitting in or not being normal), I have come to see it overall as a unique power that can help change and uplift humanity. This is not to glorify neurodivergence because I certainly struggle at times and often feel like I am from another planet entirely(!), but when I can connect with my strengths, it allows me to deal with challenges with more mindfulness and compassion for myself. This is what I aim to offer clients who struggle in a similar way. I see a lot of writing about neurodivergence cautioning against calling it a superpower but I feel it is important to acknowledge the struggle as well as the gift. When we release the need to be a certain way, we have the freedom to create a new way of being for ourselves which can be empowering both for ourselves and for the people around us. This is a continual living question for me and it is one of my life’s joys to help similar beings find their way through. Please check out my website at http://www.innertruthcounseling.org or reach out at spiralingpathway@gmail.com if you have more questions or want to work together.